The crisis & How I got closer to it than I ever thought…
“CLOSE THE BOX”.
This is my very first blog post. The very first, I have never done, never thought I would and incredibly scared that no person will ever read it… or even what if they do?
It all started with one nasty job, job is what we call the incidents we go to in the service. I thought I was fine and it would be just like all the others. It would go in that box, the many boxes which we place the shit, the death, the pain, and family tears and the feeling of what if I did this…. – These boxes are excellent, not only do they work very well, we all have a subscription to the most secure lock up in the Fort Knox…. We smile, we bants, we take the piss constantly out of each other. The boxes are sealed and we move on.
I moved on over and over again. I even decided the best way to close the box was to open another one. “I need a nasty job” – I used to crave the rush, the adulation, the feeling of being special when at a party at proudly saying I was a frontline paramedic. I need another one… Another job to get over the last, and another and another…. Hmmmm I sound like an addict….
The problem is when one box just won’t close the rest of them are a bloody jack-in-the-box open it comes, another and another and another…..
I suddenly started thinking at first about stuff I dealt with and then as the stress increased, chest pain, breathing fast… oh crap I am having a panic attack… I am bloody pathetic, why am I feeling like this, you are going to end up in one of those “nut houses” – you are weak, weak get this shit together… close the box, close the box. clooooooooosssseeee the box.
So that’s episode 1 – I can’t write more today…
Captain Birdseye's Blog 
So amazing and brave to share your MH story ❤️ #talktoheal #opentheboxes
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So Kind! thank you
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First….so incredibly brave to start writing like this, we all see people in the crew room and just assume we are all fine, but we’re not. We all have things to hide, things we cannot face or talk about, but we really should!
Secondly….you have hit the nail on the head, the way you write is exactly how we all feel!!
Thirdly….I really hope you are ok 🙂
It’s amazing, well done!
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Kat, just means so much and subscribe for more! It feels so great to share and talk.. many of us all are suffering x
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Well done for sharing mate, having my own issues at the moment so know where you are coming from. Happy to chat if ever you need an ear
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It just creeps up on one and my goodness we need to all talk more.
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You have made the 1st step to recovery! You are inspirational!
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lots more coming up! you are so kind x
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Hero! Following and feeling!
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You are an inspiration .. it’s a very tough role / job .. hope you are feeling better and your writing will help and support others that feel the same
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Great read matey!
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